Finding A Balance

I've been working on my homework for the last few hours and I am now to the point where I just want to quit for today, which got me thinking...

I think, as humans, our initial reaction when something seems to be more than we can handle is to just give up. I know that I am definitely a one-track minded person. When I get focused on doing a task it is best for me to only focus on that task and get it done as quickly and efficiently as possible. If something comes in the way of my task, I get frustrated and don't know how to balance them. Like with my classes starting, I'm perfectly fine sitting for six hours and just doing homework with no distractions. But when my mom tells me to clean the house, or someone wants to hang out, then I get frustrated because something isn't quite going according to my plan.

Balancing multiple things at once is hard, but how can we expect to live life if we only do one thing at a time? Something I'm trying to work on is not getting stressed out about every little thing in my life. I have a lot in my life that I'm trying to balance; whether it be my relationship with my boyfriend, relationships with friends, my relationship with my family, work, school, or just making time for myself. I'm not saying that I'm the only one doing these things, everyone is trying to balance their life. Sometimes I focus more on myself than I should, instead of focusing on relationships with other people. Sometimes I want to just sit on the couch and watch TV instead of do my schoolwork. But I have to keep reminding myself to not be so selfish, or to not be so lazy, and try to find balance.

I was raised to be respectful and to recognize authority. I know right from wrong, and I know what my morals are and how to stand by them. The one thing I wish I was taught, was how to be open-minded. But even after typing that sentence, I'm beginning to realize that it's not anything that someone can teach you. Your thoughts are your own to control and, sure, there will be outside influences, but they are still your thoughts. I'm beginning to realize, with some help, that I'm not as mature as I thought I was. I lack understanding in situations that are unfamiliar to me. I think selfishness is a big part of it too, with the fact that I'm unwilling to understand people's perspectives. How can I expect anyone to trust me if I don't give them the chance to? Or if they do give me an opportunity, why am I so unwilling to adapt to new situations? 

I think, for right now, I need to work on balance and unselfishness. I thought I was always so good at finishing work that needed to be done. My dad taught me how to be a hard worker who knows what needs to be done and can get it done. But it also goes beyond physical work. It goes beyond anything that anyone can teach me. I need to figure out how to work hard at relationships too. I usually expect people to be there for me, but what kind of a friend am I if I'm not willing to return the favor? Instead of staying comfortable in my own little Allison bubble, I have to experience what other people experience and to figure out what makes people happy. Putting other people before myself is something I know how to do, I just sometimes would rather be self absorbed and comfortable. 

Being selfish has gotten me in a lot of trouble. Sometimes I say things before thinking, or tell someone something that I shouldn't, or do something that inadvertently hurts someone without realizing at the moment that that's what I'm doing. There are bigger and more important things out there than me, and I'm working to figure out what they are and how to make them a priority.