I think the title of this post pretty much sums up my life right now. I'm not even in college right now and I'm still enduring that stupid transition that high school seniors go through after they graduate. I came home from Hays expecting things to be all hunky-dory and my life to just go back to the way that everything used to be. But that's definitely not what happened.
My plan was to come home and take a semester off of classes, work a lot, and hopefully get enough money to start K-State in the winter semester. But then I figured out that in order to keep the subsidized loan I got from the government from winning an essay contest, I have to give proof that I was enrolled in 12 credit hours with a 3.5 GPA by the end of this semester. So I weighed my options and ended up choosing to enroll in online classes through Highland, still work, and then make enough money to go to K-State next school year. I spent weeks and weeks going through all of the classes at Highland, figuring out which ones I needed for a Bachelor of Arts through K-State, and then figuring out which of those classes transferred over.
When I finally (FINALLY) got all of that stuff figured out, the next step was to enroll. Naturally, that wasn't as easy as it should have been.The first time I tried to enroll, they emailed me back and said, "we're sorry, you can't enroll because you cannot exceed the limit of 12 credit hours per 8 week period." I was only taking 14 credit hours because I needed a lab with my biology class, but I guess there was a limit on how many hours could be taken. So I did some research and found that I can apply for an overload request on credit hours. So I did that, and got permission to take 14 credit hours. So I tried enrolling again. Then I got an email that said, "we're sorry, you can't enroll yet because we have no record of your AP scores." I totally forgot that I had enrolled in English 2 because my AP credits weren't enough to transfer to K-State, so I would have to take the class over again. So I had to call MHS and get them to send my AP scores to Highland. Naturally, they never contacted me that they actually got my scores. So I tried enrolling again, and they finally accepted my classes.
So now that you know the minute details of that story...
My plan is to do three different 8 week sessions online, one this semester and two next semester. Right now I'm independently studying French and plan to take the CLEP test at K-State when I feel like I've studied enough. Potentially, by the end of this school year, I will be done with Highland and have at least 50 credit hours already done.
I thought that if I could figure out everything and get my life in order, everything would go back to normal. But I'm still waiting for that to happen. I feel like now my day consists of getting up after a crappy night of sleep, not being able to eat breakfast, going to work for 6 or 7 hours, going home, watching TV, and then going to bed. I feel like I'm lacking a purpose. I've resorted to doing Serena's homework because I miss writing papers. I feel like everyone is busy. Well, I'm busy too. But I feel like people are losing interest in me, like everyone is changing and moving on with their lives while I'm here grasping at anything and everything to get my life back.
I also feel lonely. I hang out with my friends and stuff, but I feel like something is still missing and I have no idea what it is. I'm hoping that when I start classes next week (FINALLY) I will be so busy that nothing will be a problem anymore.
Sharon told me that I need to stop controlling every aspect of my life, which I agree. But change is hard, and changing how I am is hard. I like being able to be one step ahead of everything. I like planning things out, and knowing the outcome. But now I'm not sure about anything anymore. I don't know if I will be able to handle my classes, or if I'll end up with enough money by next year to pay for tuition. I haven't even applied to K-State, what if I don't get in? I hate my job, what if I'm stuck there? I can't seem to find any other place to work that will get me enough hours to pay for school.
I miss dancing and I miss long walks on the Konza. I miss playing piano and painting. I miss dressing up and doing crazy things with my friends. I miss coffee dates. I miss curling up and reading a good book. I either don't have the time or don't have the motivation to do those things anymore.
I honestly can't think of anything else to write since I've been rambling and writing this dumb post for hours. So I'll stop now.
Peace
When I finally (FINALLY) got all of that stuff figured out, the next step was to enroll. Naturally, that wasn't as easy as it should have been.The first time I tried to enroll, they emailed me back and said, "we're sorry, you can't enroll because you cannot exceed the limit of 12 credit hours per 8 week period." I was only taking 14 credit hours because I needed a lab with my biology class, but I guess there was a limit on how many hours could be taken. So I did some research and found that I can apply for an overload request on credit hours. So I did that, and got permission to take 14 credit hours. So I tried enrolling again. Then I got an email that said, "we're sorry, you can't enroll yet because we have no record of your AP scores." I totally forgot that I had enrolled in English 2 because my AP credits weren't enough to transfer to K-State, so I would have to take the class over again. So I had to call MHS and get them to send my AP scores to Highland. Naturally, they never contacted me that they actually got my scores. So I tried enrolling again, and they finally accepted my classes.
So now that you know the minute details of that story...
My plan is to do three different 8 week sessions online, one this semester and two next semester. Right now I'm independently studying French and plan to take the CLEP test at K-State when I feel like I've studied enough. Potentially, by the end of this school year, I will be done with Highland and have at least 50 credit hours already done.
I thought that if I could figure out everything and get my life in order, everything would go back to normal. But I'm still waiting for that to happen. I feel like now my day consists of getting up after a crappy night of sleep, not being able to eat breakfast, going to work for 6 or 7 hours, going home, watching TV, and then going to bed. I feel like I'm lacking a purpose. I've resorted to doing Serena's homework because I miss writing papers. I feel like everyone is busy. Well, I'm busy too. But I feel like people are losing interest in me, like everyone is changing and moving on with their lives while I'm here grasping at anything and everything to get my life back.
I also feel lonely. I hang out with my friends and stuff, but I feel like something is still missing and I have no idea what it is. I'm hoping that when I start classes next week (FINALLY) I will be so busy that nothing will be a problem anymore.
Sharon told me that I need to stop controlling every aspect of my life, which I agree. But change is hard, and changing how I am is hard. I like being able to be one step ahead of everything. I like planning things out, and knowing the outcome. But now I'm not sure about anything anymore. I don't know if I will be able to handle my classes, or if I'll end up with enough money by next year to pay for tuition. I haven't even applied to K-State, what if I don't get in? I hate my job, what if I'm stuck there? I can't seem to find any other place to work that will get me enough hours to pay for school.
I miss dancing and I miss long walks on the Konza. I miss playing piano and painting. I miss dressing up and doing crazy things with my friends. I miss coffee dates. I miss curling up and reading a good book. I either don't have the time or don't have the motivation to do those things anymore.
I honestly can't think of anything else to write since I've been rambling and writing this dumb post for hours. So I'll stop now.
Peace
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