I lied, I'm not actually studying. I've been studying for a total of *drumroll please* eleven and a half hours in the last two days. I literally went home yesterday after my AP Gov exam and studied for seven hours. SEVEN HOURS. Guess what I was studying? Yep, you guessed it, AP Gov! I currently have a D in that class. I feel quite stupid.
So today I thought I would rant about the fact that I'm still awake at 10:32 pm, waiting for my flash-drive to clear so I can put my photography assignment on it. Yes, I still haven't finished my school work. And yes, before you judge me, let me just tell you that I like to procrastinate. Get over it. I still have two finals to finish tomorrow. I'm quite frazzled at the moment. I kind of actually hate AP classes. Like, a lot. I mean, I've never been in college before, but I think they're supposed to be equivalent of college classes. But in all reality, how can anyone expect anyone to take three AP classes and one college class on top of regular classes and not be frazzled? And that's not even bad compared to some people in my school. Maybe I just don't handle stress very well...
I've been switching between studying and crying my eyes out for the last couple of hours, but I think it's safe to say that I'm 100% ready to be done with school. Forever. Like, I don't want to learn anything new for as long as I live. I've accepted the fact that I'm an average person. Average height, average personality, average IQ. You know, the works. So, based on that, I'm definitely doing just average in school. It's not that I'm not trying, I think I just don't have any more brain capacity to open up to new information.
Speaking of opening up. If you're going to be my friend, I expect you to trust me. Unless I give you a reason to not trust me, which I hopefully don't, then you have to open up to me at some point. I really think that it helps both parties in the long run. Like, honestly, if you expect me to be there for you then you have to let me know what I'm supposed to be being there for you for. Ha. That sentence made no sense. But for real, don't expect me to constantly elaborate on my issues when you won't even tell me what's bothering you. This is a two way thing. I was told by a wise soul once that I should write about my feelings because it lets people know what I'm thinking. So hopefully that wise soul is reading this, because that's exactly what I'm doing.
It's currently 10:49 and my flash-drive still hasn't finished. My eyes are so dry, I'm tempted to dunk my head in a bucket of water. I haven't eaten since...I don't remember when. Tomorrow is my last day of school and I really just want to stay in my bed for the rest of my life.
At least I wasn't kept awake by my chanting grandmother. But that's another story for another day. Tomorrow needs to be over so I can go into hibernation. Forever.
Peace.
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