Do you ever feel like you're just stuck in the same place? I feel that way all the time. I'm a sophomore in college and I know what I'm supposed to be working toward, but I feel like it's so far out of my grasp still. I feel like I'm just spending most of my time waiting around for things to happen so I can do the things that I want.
Right now I have to wait to get my degree while I go through these stupid entry level classes that I've already taken before but K-State won't accept them as credits. I'm waiting for when I can graduate college so I can actually start my career and do the things I love. I'm waiting until after college to get married because I'm too young. I'm waiting to move out until I graduate college because I'm too poor to afford it right now.
I feel like a lot of my waiting has to do with depression too. If you've read some of my past blog posts you know that I struggle with depression and anxiety. I have a mental state of fear of leaving town. I can hardly go anywhere without getting sick. So I'm waiting for the day that my brain will stop being stupid and I can live my normal life again. I'm constantly waiting for the day when I can feel like myself and don't have to rely on medication to make me feel better.
I'm waiting for my age to catch up with my maturity. People act like something is wrong with me because I'm in college but I don't like to party. I'm also waiting for people to act like adults. A lot of people I know are so caught up in themselves. I'm just waiting for them to realize that they're adults and they need to act like it.
Is it cheesy to say I'm just waiting for the world to change? I hate everything that is happening to our society. People tell me that I (and my generation) have the power to change things. But how? Maybe I'm waiting for that to be revealed to me.
Maybe waiting is a good thing. It does teach one to be patient. But at the same time, it's a bad thing. Instead of focusing on the things I should be enjoying now while I'm young, I keep focusing on the future and waiting for better things to come along.
Waiting for things sucks.
